Death to the Undead

by Becca L.

Bite me. Go ahead. Do it. I'm not afraid. After all, I love you. Here we have the plot of every vampire story written in recent years. Am I the only one who longs for an end?

Many teens are familiar with the website, Quizilla. They are also familiar with the mind boggling unoriginality that runs rampant on the site. 60% of the stories on quizilla are about vampires. Being kidnapped by them, betrothed to them, sold to them. Usually this would be the spot for an "etc, etc.", but that is the extent of the vampire plots. Just once I wish a vampire would be an evil, mindless parasite instead of a romantic stock character. Half the time vampires don't even suck blood. They were meant to frighten children away from the woods and to be the villains of fireside tales, not fodder for some teenage girl's fantasy.

I find the Twilight craze particularly annoying. When the book first came out I picked it up. I then put it right back down. A sappy teenage romance does not require a saga to complete it. Stephanie Meyers should have followed in the footsteps of Katie Maxmillian and let her silly little romance remain 200 page paperbacks. I have been forced to hear about Edward Cullen for the last two years. I am only going to say this once, so listen closely. HE'S NOT REAL. He will never be real. He is a fictional character.

If you want to meet a real vampire, ask your doctor. There is a real disease that can be treated by drinking blood. Now patients mostly take pills. Isn't that romantic?