by Quincey
I walk up to my Sargent in his grave. He taught me everything in the war of 1944. I sat there remembering the painful, rough times we spent together. I started to cry.
“Go,Go,Go,Go". I ran out of the ship on to the beach bullet whistled past my ears and i heard screams of terror from behind. I ducked behind a barbwire dugout and bombs flew past me from the distance there was blood every were."Mclovin get over here". I ran as fast as i can i looked an looked i jumped and barely made it to the sand pit. There was doctors helping wounded solder, then he got shot. I was looking around waiting for order and this guy got shot in the head but the bullet didn't go thought his helmet."Go Mclovin Go I ran and ran with my pall Edward at my side. I saw a German and shot him in the head. i stopped and gun fire went flying past us. Sargent Ryan came flying up, and threw a grenade and all you saw was dead people in the air. We ran up the hill to the machine gun nests. And I threw a smoke grenade in the building were most of the men got killed by Germans and they came running, out i shot all three. My group is called the Big Red one, we kill for nothing.
Showing posts with label Writing: Short Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing: Short Story. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Monday, January 19, 2009
Town of Deadly Hollow, Part One - Sarah D.
Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Children playing, carolers singing, parents buying presents. At least that’s how I wanted it to be. In the small town of Deadly Hollow, things weren’t like that. Christmas was forbidden, almost forgotten in this god forsaken place. Anyone who lived there like me would tell you, it just wasn’t the place to grow up.
You're probably wondering who I am. Well my name to me isn’t really that important. But I guess I could tell you. Anna. Anna Mackanzie. I was a fifth generation in Deadly Hollow. My Great-Great Grandparents from my father’s side moved here before his Grandfather was born.
Their names were James Mackanzie and Jane Mackanzie. They had three children in all, Jeremy, Jack, and Eliza. Eliza unfortunately died at the age of six. No one knows why just that one day she was healthy as a bat then the next day, well dead. My father’s Grandfather was Jack, the second oldest in the family. Jeremy never married and died all alone. I always found that weird to tell you the truth.
Of course, I left it be since no one in the family wanted to talk about it. Jack married young I believe, age sixteen, going on seventeen to a young girl named Katrina. Katrina was someone everyone adored; unfortunately she died during her second child birth to Diana. Diana died not to long after her mother to measles. Jack now had only his son, my Grandfather, in his life. He named him James after his father.
James, my grandfather, fell in love with a lawyer’s daughter. She unfortunately had a thing for the richest family in Deadly Hollow and wouldn’t give him a glance. Out of anger, he raped her. She ended up pregnant with my Father, Jack Mackenzie. After being forced to marry James to keep her family’s good appearance, she hung herself in front of my six year old father. May god bless her soul. Jack forever mortified of his mother’s death was sent to counseling a good six years until he was deemed stable. He met my mother, at age twelve, and that was that. At age sixteen they both got married and had six children. Five boys and one girl, in other words, me.
Now that we have that settled let me tell you one thing, when I was four my mom was killed in front of my eyes. Although, I can’t remember much, that’s not really that important. I am now twenty-one years old and a very well known writer. My oldest brother Drew is happily married with six kids of his own. He’s now a reporter for the Daily Times.
Actually, let me just cut to the chase and tell you that all of my brothers are happily married with kids. As for me, I have been married twice with no kids from either. I think my brother said something about them being sterile. It doesn’t matter anymore, I wasn’t really planning to have kids nor do I want any at this stage of my life. Anyways, the story I am about to write is not for the weak of heart or in this case stomach, defiantly not the stomach.
It’s about treachery, murder, and betrayal. But all in all it’s about how I came to understand something very important. There are secrets in every family, which are sometimes best left as that, a secret. If you are of weak stomach or heart turn back now, go read the book on happy fairies and unicorns that dance in broad daylight to merry little tunes, cause I will tell you one thing there are no daisy’s up ahead, just a deep understanding of how sometimes children should never look where they are not welcomed to look. But if you think that you can handle it, by all means be my guest, after all I can’t stop, now can I?
You're probably wondering who I am. Well my name to me isn’t really that important. But I guess I could tell you. Anna. Anna Mackanzie. I was a fifth generation in Deadly Hollow. My Great-Great Grandparents from my father’s side moved here before his Grandfather was born.
Their names were James Mackanzie and Jane Mackanzie. They had three children in all, Jeremy, Jack, and Eliza. Eliza unfortunately died at the age of six. No one knows why just that one day she was healthy as a bat then the next day, well dead. My father’s Grandfather was Jack, the second oldest in the family. Jeremy never married and died all alone. I always found that weird to tell you the truth.
Of course, I left it be since no one in the family wanted to talk about it. Jack married young I believe, age sixteen, going on seventeen to a young girl named Katrina. Katrina was someone everyone adored; unfortunately she died during her second child birth to Diana. Diana died not to long after her mother to measles. Jack now had only his son, my Grandfather, in his life. He named him James after his father.
James, my grandfather, fell in love with a lawyer’s daughter. She unfortunately had a thing for the richest family in Deadly Hollow and wouldn’t give him a glance. Out of anger, he raped her. She ended up pregnant with my Father, Jack Mackenzie. After being forced to marry James to keep her family’s good appearance, she hung herself in front of my six year old father. May god bless her soul. Jack forever mortified of his mother’s death was sent to counseling a good six years until he was deemed stable. He met my mother, at age twelve, and that was that. At age sixteen they both got married and had six children. Five boys and one girl, in other words, me.
Now that we have that settled let me tell you one thing, when I was four my mom was killed in front of my eyes. Although, I can’t remember much, that’s not really that important. I am now twenty-one years old and a very well known writer. My oldest brother Drew is happily married with six kids of his own. He’s now a reporter for the Daily Times.
Actually, let me just cut to the chase and tell you that all of my brothers are happily married with kids. As for me, I have been married twice with no kids from either. I think my brother said something about them being sterile. It doesn’t matter anymore, I wasn’t really planning to have kids nor do I want any at this stage of my life. Anyways, the story I am about to write is not for the weak of heart or in this case stomach, defiantly not the stomach.
It’s about treachery, murder, and betrayal. But all in all it’s about how I came to understand something very important. There are secrets in every family, which are sometimes best left as that, a secret. If you are of weak stomach or heart turn back now, go read the book on happy fairies and unicorns that dance in broad daylight to merry little tunes, cause I will tell you one thing there are no daisy’s up ahead, just a deep understanding of how sometimes children should never look where they are not welcomed to look. But if you think that you can handle it, by all means be my guest, after all I can’t stop, now can I?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Dan and the Bean Stock
by Calvin Miller
Once upon a time in a far away land called San Francisco, there lived a little boy called Dan. Dan was a multi billionaire, and he hated it. He had everything he ever wanted, except his parents. They were dead…to him…but actually they were hanging out with their broker friends down at the NYSE (New York Stock Exchange).
One day, Dan was shooting his paint-ball gun at passing cars when he decided he wanted to check the stock his parents gave him 2 years ago for his birthday. He had stock in SBUX, GE, LG, MCDS, COKE, PPSI, WMAR, BOEING, EGY, GEMS and even ASIA. As he continued to browse the immense index of his personal stock, he saw one he never heard of: BEAN. BEAN was up 572 points, which was amazing.
He did some research on BEAN and apparently, he could send away $20, and then receive an informative brochure that would answer all his questions. So he sent a crisp twenty-dollar-bill to this address:
Ikant B. Leave
Usent 20 bucks
2 New York City
10044, USA
So he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and then he got fed up of waiting. He sent the letter out 3 months ago! Well, then again, it does have to travel all the way across the USA.
He told his butler to prepare the leer jet and get ready to fly to New York. They arrived in New York after a quick (8 hour) flight. Dan booked a hotel, the Waldorff=Astoria. “Wow” said the butler, “The Waldorff=Astoria!” “Yep, I never heard of it” said Dan. So they got in their room, which by the way is freakishly large, and decided what to do. The butler fell asleep, and the stock market already closed. Dan, not knowing what to do, goes out of the room. Dan might be rich, but not all rich people are stupid. Dan was very tricky, he went over to the room across the hall, and he pulled out his magnetic key-card, and before he tried to break into the abandon room, he spied a video camera at the end of the hall, he knew it was a short circuit camera and could see the wires running into a room labeled “janitors closet”. Dan went up to the camera, and waved the key card’s magnetic strip in front of the camera’s lens causing the camera to short out. Now that the camera was taken care of, he went back to the room. He knew that one false move, would make him have to do it again. He carefully placed the magnetic key-card on the side of the handle and in one swift move, kicked the handle right off the door and shoved the card into the hole alongside the alarm sensor, stopping the alarm.
Now that he was in, he decided to hit the mini-bar. He opened it up and peered inside. All that was in there was beer, some wine and a shot of peppermint schnapps. “Awe man, all that’s in here is alcohol, where’s the milk?” he exclaimed in disappointment. He wanted to peruse. He peered out the window, and couldn’t even see the side walk because of the clouds. He went over the bed and saw a box of complimentary mints. Wait a minute, mints from hotels don’t come in boxes, they come in individual packages. He picked up the box, and read the package
Dontcha’ wish your bean stock was as up like me?
A free informative packet,
Complete with a pouch of magic* beans.
*Beans may or may not grow, or be magic. If they do grow, will be poisonous
He decided to keep the brochure…and the beans…and the box it came in. he heard footsteps a ways down the hall, he could tell they were running because of the sound the feet made on the hard-wood floors. Dan dashed into the bedroom, and dove under the bed. Only there was a problem, the bed was connected to the floor all the way around the bottom. Dan hit his head on the wood casing, and was left unconscious.
Dan woke up in a plane, a BAe 125 Hawker to be exact. Dan was cuffed to the plane’s armrest, although whoever put on the hand cuffs was either drunk or very, very stupid. Dan could slide the cuff off the armrest. Dan was still a little woozy, but he could still see. He peered across the aisle and saw a rather large “bodyguard” playing with a box of Lincoln Logs® and giggling profusely. Stupid, not drunk, well, yah never know these days. Dan called the bodyguard over, and the bodyguard took a step over Dan’s way. “What’s your name?” asked Dan “My name is jimmy and I like apples” “oh,” said Dan “what a coincidence, me too!” “Whats is coinc…coincetic…coinki-”
“-Coincidence?” said Dan.
“Yeah what you said” spouted jimmy
“How ‘bout we play with your Lincoln Logs®”
“OK!”
Jimmy stood up and grabbed the box of Lincoln Logs®. He came back with a huge tub of Lincoln Logs®. Dan knew what he was about to do was wrong, but he had to do it. He looked around and saw a parachute. That’s it! That’s my ticket out! Dan picked up a large log and was about to execute his move, just then jimmy said “do you want to help me build a house?” and Dan couldn’t hit jimmy with the log
“Umm, how about we play hide and go seek?”
“Ok”
“Ok, jimmy, you go count to 75”
“Where?”
“The bathroom, and lock the door, and don’t come out until you get to 75”
“Ok!”
and off went jimmy to the bathroom, locked the door and started counting “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…” and Dan sprung out of his seat, ran over to the parachute, and kicked the red lever up. Dan put on his ‘chute, and made sure he had his bank book. Dan nervously peered out the open door that was sucking the air out of the cabin. He saw what looked like Lake Erie. Good, if I jump now, I could still make it back to New York! He jumped, and could feel the tingly-jingly in his stomach he waited several seconds too enjoy the feeling of falling, then he decided to wait until he got to 500ft. he flipped, and twisted, then the tingly-jingly in his stomach went away. Ok now’s the time and he pulled the rip cord.
Funny thing actually, why is it called a rip cord? It’s not supposed to rip is it? Well the rip cord broke off (or ripped rather) and the parachute didn’t deploy, he pulled the emergency cord, which also broke. Dan started to panic, he stuck his finger into the hole where the emergency cord came out of, and felt a metallic ring. He pulled and the chute deployed. Dan grabbed the handles and drifted. He arrived right behind a large tower and hopped out of his parachute harness. He hailed a cab and told the driver to take him to New York City. Dan decided to take a long rest. Once at the Waldorff=Astoria Dan hopped out of the cab. The driver told Dan the fare, $452.58!
Dan said “I’ll tell you what, you drive away without looking back, and I won’t have my mafia friends come and kick your a-butt”
“You know,” said the cab driver “its ok to bluff, but sometimes you have to have all the cards” and he pointed to a black van and a bunch of big me jumped out in suits.
“Ok…well…umm, here’s 500 bucks, BYE!” and he took off running. Dan arrived at the hotel just in time to see his butler exit the building.
Dan went over towards the butler and told him to get in the car.
“But why, you just lost a lot of money because that hotel stay was $1,000”
“There’s more where that came from, now drive to 385 W. 5th St.”
“Whatever” spouted the butler.
And off they went to the BEAN Corporation. A large skyscraper, well, actually the empire state building.
“The brochure says floor 1,078,235,472,105,783…sounds unlikely. Especially considering that the empire state building only has 102 floors.”
“Whatever” spouted the butler.
Dan gets out of the car and walks into the building. Gets in the elevator and looks for floor 1,078,235,472,105,783, which of course he doesn’t see. So he decides to screw around and hit the floors individual in the order of the “floor”. So Dan pressed floor 1, then G (for ground floor or 0), then 7, and 8, and 2, and so-on and so-forth. So he finally steps out on floor 3 and a big bluish purple circle is floating in the air. He examined the circle and decided to call it a portal. Dan took a flying leap into the portal and popped out walking on a cloud. A long path led to a mansion, and Dan took the long walk. 20 min. later Dan was at the door of the freakishly large house. Dan entered, and saw a receptionist at a desk.
“Excuse me. Umm, what is this place?”
“Well this is the house of amazing stocks in the sky”
“I must be dreaming”
“Nope” said the receptionist and slapped Dan across the face “did you feel that”
“Yep,” said Dan and reached over the desk and slapped the old receptionist “did you feel that?”
“Touché” replied the receptionist
“Now seriously,” said Dan “what is BEAN?”
“BEAN?” the receptionist gasped “well there is only one stock holder for BEAN, and whoever has it is the owner of the entire company. The BEAN Corporation has a net worth of $3trillion and is still rising. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I own the share, so I own the company, I guess. So… technically… you just slapped your boss!”
“You are the owner of BEAN? And you didn’t know about it? please follow me.” and the receptionist led Dan down an long corridor, he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and the he got fed up of walking, so he decided to get a piggy-back ride by the receptionist. 3 hours of walking led them to the end of the hall, which was where a freakishly large door was.
Dan opened the door, to find Jimmy waiting on the desk with a gun in his hand.
“Why did you leave me on the plane locked in the bathroom counting to 75?”
“I think a better question would be ‘why are you pointing a gun at me, when I was hiding from you like the way the game is played’ or maybe even ‘what the heck are you doing in my office, pointing a gun at me?’”
“Hey don’t get snippy at me, just climb the dang staircase”
“Why so you can shoot me?”
“No, so they can shoot you.” and Jimmy snapped his fingers and a bunch of midgets on segway surrounded him with M16s.
“Why are there a bunch of midgets preparing to shoot me with M16s?”
“We prefer little people, numskull” shouted a ‘little person’
“Whatever, now I guess you want me to climb the staircase?”
“Yes,” shouted Jimmy “now get to stepping!”
Dan decided to climb the staircase. Up the staircase Dan went. The staircase was a long staircase, lost of twists an turns. Once Dan reached a curve where the heavily-armed-midgets couldn’t see him, Dan peered over the side, than dove straight down. Now if you think about it, what holds up the mansion, and the staircase? Something solid right? Dan didn’t consider this before he dove. As he plummeted downward, he realized he was probably going to hit that solid thing. And, he did, head first. But, Dan was so worried about being shot up by a bunch of tiny humans riding futuristic vehicles, wielding the most powerful civilian-obtainable gun in the history of mankind. So Dan shrugged off the side splitting headache (no, seriously his skull was split down the side) and ran as fast as he could towards the spiraling bluish-purple portal.
Dan reached the portal in what seamed like 30 seconds, but that was probably because the memory part of his brain was hanging out of his head. Dan took a running dive for the portal and popped out of level 3 of the empire state building. As soon as he emerged from the portal-still in mid dive, mind you- landed head first into an elderly lady, that strangely resembled the receptionist at the BEAN Company. Dan was immediately rushed to the hospital to have his skull pieced back together.
Dan now resides in the P. S. Y. Cotic Mental Institution For Major Head Injuries. Every day he wakes up and ponders his escape. I'm not crazy, he thinks, But i have to get out of here.
THE END!!!
OR IS IT?
STAY ON THE LOOKOUT FOR BOOK 2, "DAN AND THE BEAN STOCK: DAN'S REVENGE"
Once upon a time in a far away land called San Francisco, there lived a little boy called Dan. Dan was a multi billionaire, and he hated it. He had everything he ever wanted, except his parents. They were dead…to him…but actually they were hanging out with their broker friends down at the NYSE (New York Stock Exchange).
One day, Dan was shooting his paint-ball gun at passing cars when he decided he wanted to check the stock his parents gave him 2 years ago for his birthday. He had stock in SBUX, GE, LG, MCDS, COKE, PPSI, WMAR, BOEING, EGY, GEMS and even ASIA. As he continued to browse the immense index of his personal stock, he saw one he never heard of: BEAN. BEAN was up 572 points, which was amazing.
He did some research on BEAN and apparently, he could send away $20, and then receive an informative brochure that would answer all his questions. So he sent a crisp twenty-dollar-bill to this address:
Ikant B. Leave
Usent 20 bucks
2 New York City
10044, USA
So he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and he waited and then he got fed up of waiting. He sent the letter out 3 months ago! Well, then again, it does have to travel all the way across the USA.
He told his butler to prepare the leer jet and get ready to fly to New York. They arrived in New York after a quick (8 hour) flight. Dan booked a hotel, the Waldorff=Astoria. “Wow” said the butler, “The Waldorff=Astoria!” “Yep, I never heard of it” said Dan. So they got in their room, which by the way is freakishly large, and decided what to do. The butler fell asleep, and the stock market already closed. Dan, not knowing what to do, goes out of the room. Dan might be rich, but not all rich people are stupid. Dan was very tricky, he went over to the room across the hall, and he pulled out his magnetic key-card, and before he tried to break into the abandon room, he spied a video camera at the end of the hall, he knew it was a short circuit camera and could see the wires running into a room labeled “janitors closet”. Dan went up to the camera, and waved the key card’s magnetic strip in front of the camera’s lens causing the camera to short out. Now that the camera was taken care of, he went back to the room. He knew that one false move, would make him have to do it again. He carefully placed the magnetic key-card on the side of the handle and in one swift move, kicked the handle right off the door and shoved the card into the hole alongside the alarm sensor, stopping the alarm.
Now that he was in, he decided to hit the mini-bar. He opened it up and peered inside. All that was in there was beer, some wine and a shot of peppermint schnapps. “Awe man, all that’s in here is alcohol, where’s the milk?” he exclaimed in disappointment. He wanted to peruse. He peered out the window, and couldn’t even see the side walk because of the clouds. He went over the bed and saw a box of complimentary mints. Wait a minute, mints from hotels don’t come in boxes, they come in individual packages. He picked up the box, and read the package
Dontcha’ wish your bean stock was as up like me?
A free informative packet,
Complete with a pouch of magic* beans.
*Beans may or may not grow, or be magic. If they do grow, will be poisonous
He decided to keep the brochure…and the beans…and the box it came in. he heard footsteps a ways down the hall, he could tell they were running because of the sound the feet made on the hard-wood floors. Dan dashed into the bedroom, and dove under the bed. Only there was a problem, the bed was connected to the floor all the way around the bottom. Dan hit his head on the wood casing, and was left unconscious.
Dan woke up in a plane, a BAe 125 Hawker to be exact. Dan was cuffed to the plane’s armrest, although whoever put on the hand cuffs was either drunk or very, very stupid. Dan could slide the cuff off the armrest. Dan was still a little woozy, but he could still see. He peered across the aisle and saw a rather large “bodyguard” playing with a box of Lincoln Logs® and giggling profusely. Stupid, not drunk, well, yah never know these days. Dan called the bodyguard over, and the bodyguard took a step over Dan’s way. “What’s your name?” asked Dan “My name is jimmy and I like apples” “oh,” said Dan “what a coincidence, me too!” “Whats is coinc…coincetic…coinki-”
“-Coincidence?” said Dan.
“Yeah what you said” spouted jimmy
“How ‘bout we play with your Lincoln Logs®”
“OK!”
Jimmy stood up and grabbed the box of Lincoln Logs®. He came back with a huge tub of Lincoln Logs®. Dan knew what he was about to do was wrong, but he had to do it. He looked around and saw a parachute. That’s it! That’s my ticket out! Dan picked up a large log and was about to execute his move, just then jimmy said “do you want to help me build a house?” and Dan couldn’t hit jimmy with the log
“Umm, how about we play hide and go seek?”
“Ok”
“Ok, jimmy, you go count to 75”
“Where?”
“The bathroom, and lock the door, and don’t come out until you get to 75”
“Ok!”
and off went jimmy to the bathroom, locked the door and started counting “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…” and Dan sprung out of his seat, ran over to the parachute, and kicked the red lever up. Dan put on his ‘chute, and made sure he had his bank book. Dan nervously peered out the open door that was sucking the air out of the cabin. He saw what looked like Lake Erie. Good, if I jump now, I could still make it back to New York! He jumped, and could feel the tingly-jingly in his stomach he waited several seconds too enjoy the feeling of falling, then he decided to wait until he got to 500ft. he flipped, and twisted, then the tingly-jingly in his stomach went away. Ok now’s the time and he pulled the rip cord.
Funny thing actually, why is it called a rip cord? It’s not supposed to rip is it? Well the rip cord broke off (or ripped rather) and the parachute didn’t deploy, he pulled the emergency cord, which also broke. Dan started to panic, he stuck his finger into the hole where the emergency cord came out of, and felt a metallic ring. He pulled and the chute deployed. Dan grabbed the handles and drifted. He arrived right behind a large tower and hopped out of his parachute harness. He hailed a cab and told the driver to take him to New York City. Dan decided to take a long rest. Once at the Waldorff=Astoria Dan hopped out of the cab. The driver told Dan the fare, $452.58!
Dan said “I’ll tell you what, you drive away without looking back, and I won’t have my mafia friends come and kick your a-butt”
“You know,” said the cab driver “its ok to bluff, but sometimes you have to have all the cards” and he pointed to a black van and a bunch of big me jumped out in suits.
“Ok…well…umm, here’s 500 bucks, BYE!” and he took off running. Dan arrived at the hotel just in time to see his butler exit the building.
Dan went over towards the butler and told him to get in the car.
“But why, you just lost a lot of money because that hotel stay was $1,000”
“There’s more where that came from, now drive to 385 W. 5th St.”
“Whatever” spouted the butler.
And off they went to the BEAN Corporation. A large skyscraper, well, actually the empire state building.
“The brochure says floor 1,078,235,472,105,783…sounds unlikely. Especially considering that the empire state building only has 102 floors.”
“Whatever” spouted the butler.
Dan gets out of the car and walks into the building. Gets in the elevator and looks for floor 1,078,235,472,105,783, which of course he doesn’t see. So he decides to screw around and hit the floors individual in the order of the “floor”. So Dan pressed floor 1, then G (for ground floor or 0), then 7, and 8, and 2, and so-on and so-forth. So he finally steps out on floor 3 and a big bluish purple circle is floating in the air. He examined the circle and decided to call it a portal. Dan took a flying leap into the portal and popped out walking on a cloud. A long path led to a mansion, and Dan took the long walk. 20 min. later Dan was at the door of the freakishly large house. Dan entered, and saw a receptionist at a desk.
“Excuse me. Umm, what is this place?”
“Well this is the house of amazing stocks in the sky”
“I must be dreaming”
“Nope” said the receptionist and slapped Dan across the face “did you feel that”
“Yep,” said Dan and reached over the desk and slapped the old receptionist “did you feel that?”
“Touché” replied the receptionist
“Now seriously,” said Dan “what is BEAN?”
“BEAN?” the receptionist gasped “well there is only one stock holder for BEAN, and whoever has it is the owner of the entire company. The BEAN Corporation has a net worth of $3trillion and is still rising. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I own the share, so I own the company, I guess. So… technically… you just slapped your boss!”
“You are the owner of BEAN? And you didn’t know about it? please follow me.” and the receptionist led Dan down an long corridor, he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and he walked, and the he got fed up of walking, so he decided to get a piggy-back ride by the receptionist. 3 hours of walking led them to the end of the hall, which was where a freakishly large door was.
Dan opened the door, to find Jimmy waiting on the desk with a gun in his hand.
“Why did you leave me on the plane locked in the bathroom counting to 75?”
“I think a better question would be ‘why are you pointing a gun at me, when I was hiding from you like the way the game is played’ or maybe even ‘what the heck are you doing in my office, pointing a gun at me?’”
“Hey don’t get snippy at me, just climb the dang staircase”
“Why so you can shoot me?”
“No, so they can shoot you.” and Jimmy snapped his fingers and a bunch of midgets on segway surrounded him with M16s.
“Why are there a bunch of midgets preparing to shoot me with M16s?”
“We prefer little people, numskull” shouted a ‘little person’
“Whatever, now I guess you want me to climb the staircase?”
“Yes,” shouted Jimmy “now get to stepping!”
Dan decided to climb the staircase. Up the staircase Dan went. The staircase was a long staircase, lost of twists an turns. Once Dan reached a curve where the heavily-armed-midgets couldn’t see him, Dan peered over the side, than dove straight down. Now if you think about it, what holds up the mansion, and the staircase? Something solid right? Dan didn’t consider this before he dove. As he plummeted downward, he realized he was probably going to hit that solid thing. And, he did, head first. But, Dan was so worried about being shot up by a bunch of tiny humans riding futuristic vehicles, wielding the most powerful civilian-obtainable gun in the history of mankind. So Dan shrugged off the side splitting headache (no, seriously his skull was split down the side) and ran as fast as he could towards the spiraling bluish-purple portal.
Dan reached the portal in what seamed like 30 seconds, but that was probably because the memory part of his brain was hanging out of his head. Dan took a running dive for the portal and popped out of level 3 of the empire state building. As soon as he emerged from the portal-still in mid dive, mind you- landed head first into an elderly lady, that strangely resembled the receptionist at the BEAN Company. Dan was immediately rushed to the hospital to have his skull pieced back together.
Dan now resides in the P. S. Y. Cotic Mental Institution For Major Head Injuries. Every day he wakes up and ponders his escape. I'm not crazy, he thinks, But i have to get out of here.
THE END!!!
OR IS IT?
STAY ON THE LOOKOUT FOR BOOK 2, "DAN AND THE BEAN STOCK: DAN'S REVENGE"
Monday, July 21, 2008
Untitled by Sebastian
The dinosaurs weren’t killed by a giant meteor, they contracted Anthrax spread by those walking fish things that are now reptiles. They had an underground lab where they found the cure for cancer and how to make gold. Actually, gold never existed before then. It was their creation. After they died, cavemen found the cure for cancer, but fed it to their dogs which made them really strong.
They wanted the world to look cool, so they used their dogs to make the pyramids, Stonehenge, Easter Island, and all those other world wonder things. However, secretly they put little explosive detonators around them all and George Bush knows about it. Actually, a lot of people probably know about it, but he’s the only on that matters because he accidentally set off one of the detonators at the Sphinx when he was looking for Osama bin Laden.
Bush tried to cover it up by getting Dick Cheney to shoot his ‘friend’ while quail hunting. While the people were concerned with that incident, the CIA went about reconstructing the Sphinx’s nose. That poor Pillsbury doughboy sacrificed his life, or had it taken, for Bush's sake. The CIA got Little Debbie and Sara Lee to make sweets with the remains of the doughboy to give the Egyptians who saw the ordeal to keep their mouths shut.
While under construction at the Sphinx, Loch Ness was reported to be drained leaving a large massive object at the far, far bottom. Another cover-up was needed to help Bush, so he bribed the British with hot tea and Grey Poupon to use their arguing skills against the sports teams of North America’s top leaders to think of something to catch American’s eyes. Because of this, Ben Rothlisberger got in the horrible motorcycle accident that we had recently been hearing about.
As the CIA inspected Loch Ness, the large object turned out to be a ton of Beat les albums that had been tossed into the lake. (They were bootlegs. The yellow submarine was purple.)
Paul McCartney somehow found out about the albums at the bottom of the lake and he cast a spell on the new music groups to make them sound awful. Now their horrible mockery of good music is polluting our minds and making us miserable.
And that is how the whole ended up how it is today.
They wanted the world to look cool, so they used their dogs to make the pyramids, Stonehenge, Easter Island, and all those other world wonder things. However, secretly they put little explosive detonators around them all and George Bush knows about it. Actually, a lot of people probably know about it, but he’s the only on that matters because he accidentally set off one of the detonators at the Sphinx when he was looking for Osama bin Laden.
Bush tried to cover it up by getting Dick Cheney to shoot his ‘friend’ while quail hunting. While the people were concerned with that incident, the CIA went about reconstructing the Sphinx’s nose. That poor Pillsbury doughboy sacrificed his life, or had it taken, for Bush's sake. The CIA got Little Debbie and Sara Lee to make sweets with the remains of the doughboy to give the Egyptians who saw the ordeal to keep their mouths shut.
While under construction at the Sphinx, Loch Ness was reported to be drained leaving a large massive object at the far, far bottom. Another cover-up was needed to help Bush, so he bribed the British with hot tea and Grey Poupon to use their arguing skills against the sports teams of North America’s top leaders to think of something to catch American’s eyes. Because of this, Ben Rothlisberger got in the horrible motorcycle accident that we had recently been hearing about.
As the CIA inspected Loch Ness, the large object turned out to be a ton of Beat les albums that had been tossed into the lake. (They were bootlegs. The yellow submarine was purple.)
Paul McCartney somehow found out about the albums at the bottom of the lake and he cast a spell on the new music groups to make them sound awful. Now their horrible mockery of good music is polluting our minds and making us miserable.
And that is how the whole ended up how it is today.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Short Story: Get Away From My Swing
by Becca L.
I don’t even know what the park is called. To me it has always been and will always be the park with the bed red swing. When I was little, we lived far away from the park with bed read swing. Of course, when you are four, two blocks away is a whole other country,. Going to the park with the big red swing was a treat, a privilege and, most of all, a bribe. All my mom had to do was say “I’ll take you to the park with the big red swing”, and I was automatically an angel.
The park with the big red swing is one of the few playgrounds that have yet to be childproofed. I have seen many wooden playgrounds replaced with “safer” plastic and metal contraptions that are about as much fun as watching paint dry. Playing at the park with the bed red swing is wonderfully risky. Before I can get to any dangerous sides or bridges, I must first travel through the catacombs, a maze of steps and corridors at ground level with delightfully low ceilings. If I am accosted by the Banana Monster or ball of flame, I’m either right on track or hopelessly lost. To reach daylight, I must duck under one last overhang. Then I must choose to go right or left. Right will lead me to a plastic and metal side withal kinds of bumps and dips that gets viciously hot in summer. I believe it may even curl. Left will lead me through more wooden steps and alcoves, eventually approaching a bridge. Believe it or not, the bridge is made of logs chained together, and it bounces! I know, I know, “it can’t actually bounce”, you say, “All the bouncy bridges have been glued to keep from bouncing”, you say. Somehow my bridge has escaped the fearful parents bent on childproofing childhood. After the bridge, I can go down another plastic and metal slide, wide enough for three children to zoom down at once to land in a tangle of sneakers and scuffed elbows and knees at the bottom. Or I can continue through a wooden maze, either departing on a “tree” of chain covered plastic tubes, which is brutally difficult to climb up or down (I have yet to manage it), or squeezing down a narrow ladder through a narrower opening. Right across from my exit is a very convincing “plane”. It is really just half a nose with a wheel attached but I spin the wheel with a soft “vroom, vroom” anyway. I then leap onto the “boat”, a wooden platform attached to wooden beams with chains covered in plastic tubes. Once on, I can rock it violently and struggle to remain standing, or sway gently as I scan the horizon for pirates. Spotting a sea monster, I abandon ship and run over to the car. To get into the car. To get into the car I must climb up three tires that smoosh under my feet, leaving a one and a half foot gap between my foot and its destination. Undaunted, I swing my leg and barely mange to get in. of course, whoever is accompanying me gets shotgun. This soon bores me, so I stumble down the tires on the other side and race to the tire “staircase” that leads to the next wood monstrosity. At the top, I can go through a monkey face and down a slide that may have been orange in a former life, or continue through or over the diamond shaped tunnel. My philosophy is they wouldn’t have made a tunnel if they meant you to go over it, so I go through. On the other side is a staircase that leads to the Gauntlet, a plastic- covered chain attached to a wood wall to shimmy down, and a ladder that leads to the treasure kept under watchful eye of frog. I always choose the Gauntlet.
The Gauntlet really isn’t much. It’s a bridge between two bits of equipment made of tire “cubes”. However, to cross I must crawl around tire edges or step across the whole tire. I will be well rewarded when I reach the other side. I may hurry down the fore pole, slide down the mine shaft or slip down a tire enclosed hole to a tire swing below. Though it does not spin, the tire swings so violently it doesn’t need to. I race across the mulch, through a wooden doorway, and quickly visit the Tire Monster. I’m not sure what it was supposed to be, but it is made of tires and it swings. I do not tarry here, because I am almost at my destination: The Beg Red Swing when I was in the park. I sneer at the straps someone has supplied and wait for whichever parent brought me to catch up. They arrive, and I command them to push. I have never found anything as much fun as my Big Red Swing.
The park with the Big Red Swing held other amusements, to be sure. There was a strange contraption somewhat reminiscent of seesaw, but with four arms instead of two, and each ending in one of those bouncy animal instead of an actual seat. I know there were a duck, and a sheep, and a horse, but I cannot remember the fourth one. Further up the field is wheel of Doom. The wheel is old and metal and leans to one side. No matter how close to the middle I sit, I would always be pulled to the edges. As long as I hold on, I shouldn’t fall off. I am proud to say I never have.
My park with The Big Red Swing has not totally escaped the overprotective parents. The Wheel of Doom was taken out years ago, and all things bouncy and animal like soon fallowed. Fields and concession stands were added, and the Park with the Big Red Swing became an actual park instead of the playground-with –a-field it once was.
I outgrew my swing, but I still loved my park. After all, you never outgrow slides. All was well with the world. Then disaster struck. I recently visited my park With The Big Red Swing. Could not believe what I saw. There, so smugly filling My Beg Red Swing’s place, was a safe, sturdy, black baby swing. I searched the whole playground. Surely it has only been moved. Alas, I was clinging to false hope. My swing was gone. My worst fears had come true. My childhood had finally been child proofed.
I don’t even know what the park is called. To me it has always been and will always be the park with the bed red swing. When I was little, we lived far away from the park with bed read swing. Of course, when you are four, two blocks away is a whole other country,. Going to the park with the big red swing was a treat, a privilege and, most of all, a bribe. All my mom had to do was say “I’ll take you to the park with the big red swing”, and I was automatically an angel.
The park with the big red swing is one of the few playgrounds that have yet to be childproofed. I have seen many wooden playgrounds replaced with “safer” plastic and metal contraptions that are about as much fun as watching paint dry. Playing at the park with the bed red swing is wonderfully risky. Before I can get to any dangerous sides or bridges, I must first travel through the catacombs, a maze of steps and corridors at ground level with delightfully low ceilings. If I am accosted by the Banana Monster or ball of flame, I’m either right on track or hopelessly lost. To reach daylight, I must duck under one last overhang. Then I must choose to go right or left. Right will lead me to a plastic and metal side withal kinds of bumps and dips that gets viciously hot in summer. I believe it may even curl. Left will lead me through more wooden steps and alcoves, eventually approaching a bridge. Believe it or not, the bridge is made of logs chained together, and it bounces! I know, I know, “it can’t actually bounce”, you say, “All the bouncy bridges have been glued to keep from bouncing”, you say. Somehow my bridge has escaped the fearful parents bent on childproofing childhood. After the bridge, I can go down another plastic and metal slide, wide enough for three children to zoom down at once to land in a tangle of sneakers and scuffed elbows and knees at the bottom. Or I can continue through a wooden maze, either departing on a “tree” of chain covered plastic tubes, which is brutally difficult to climb up or down (I have yet to manage it), or squeezing down a narrow ladder through a narrower opening. Right across from my exit is a very convincing “plane”. It is really just half a nose with a wheel attached but I spin the wheel with a soft “vroom, vroom” anyway. I then leap onto the “boat”, a wooden platform attached to wooden beams with chains covered in plastic tubes. Once on, I can rock it violently and struggle to remain standing, or sway gently as I scan the horizon for pirates. Spotting a sea monster, I abandon ship and run over to the car. To get into the car. To get into the car I must climb up three tires that smoosh under my feet, leaving a one and a half foot gap between my foot and its destination. Undaunted, I swing my leg and barely mange to get in. of course, whoever is accompanying me gets shotgun. This soon bores me, so I stumble down the tires on the other side and race to the tire “staircase” that leads to the next wood monstrosity. At the top, I can go through a monkey face and down a slide that may have been orange in a former life, or continue through or over the diamond shaped tunnel. My philosophy is they wouldn’t have made a tunnel if they meant you to go over it, so I go through. On the other side is a staircase that leads to the Gauntlet, a plastic- covered chain attached to a wood wall to shimmy down, and a ladder that leads to the treasure kept under watchful eye of frog. I always choose the Gauntlet.
The Gauntlet really isn’t much. It’s a bridge between two bits of equipment made of tire “cubes”. However, to cross I must crawl around tire edges or step across the whole tire. I will be well rewarded when I reach the other side. I may hurry down the fore pole, slide down the mine shaft or slip down a tire enclosed hole to a tire swing below. Though it does not spin, the tire swings so violently it doesn’t need to. I race across the mulch, through a wooden doorway, and quickly visit the Tire Monster. I’m not sure what it was supposed to be, but it is made of tires and it swings. I do not tarry here, because I am almost at my destination: The Beg Red Swing when I was in the park. I sneer at the straps someone has supplied and wait for whichever parent brought me to catch up. They arrive, and I command them to push. I have never found anything as much fun as my Big Red Swing.
The park with the Big Red Swing held other amusements, to be sure. There was a strange contraption somewhat reminiscent of seesaw, but with four arms instead of two, and each ending in one of those bouncy animal instead of an actual seat. I know there were a duck, and a sheep, and a horse, but I cannot remember the fourth one. Further up the field is wheel of Doom. The wheel is old and metal and leans to one side. No matter how close to the middle I sit, I would always be pulled to the edges. As long as I hold on, I shouldn’t fall off. I am proud to say I never have.
My park with The Big Red Swing has not totally escaped the overprotective parents. The Wheel of Doom was taken out years ago, and all things bouncy and animal like soon fallowed. Fields and concession stands were added, and the Park with the Big Red Swing became an actual park instead of the playground-with –a-field it once was.
I outgrew my swing, but I still loved my park. After all, you never outgrow slides. All was well with the world. Then disaster struck. I recently visited my park With The Big Red Swing. Could not believe what I saw. There, so smugly filling My Beg Red Swing’s place, was a safe, sturdy, black baby swing. I searched the whole playground. Surely it has only been moved. Alas, I was clinging to false hope. My swing was gone. My worst fears had come true. My childhood had finally been child proofed.
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