Untitled by Sebastian

The dinosaurs weren’t killed by a giant meteor, they contracted Anthrax spread by those walking fish things that are now reptiles. They had an underground lab where they found the cure for cancer and how to make gold. Actually, gold never existed before then. It was their creation. After they died, cavemen found the cure for cancer, but fed it to their dogs which made them really strong.

They wanted the world to look cool, so they used their dogs to make the pyramids, Stonehenge, Easter Island, and all those other world wonder things. However, secretly they put little explosive detonators around them all and George Bush knows about it. Actually, a lot of people probably know about it, but he’s the only on that matters because he accidentally set off one of the detonators at the Sphinx when he was looking for Osama bin Laden.

Bush tried to cover it up by getting Dick Cheney to shoot his ‘friend’ while quail hunting. While the people were concerned with that incident, the CIA went about reconstructing the Sphinx’s nose. That poor Pillsbury doughboy sacrificed his life, or had it taken, for Bush's sake. The CIA got Little Debbie and Sara Lee to make sweets with the remains of the doughboy to give the Egyptians who saw the ordeal to keep their mouths shut.

While under construction at the Sphinx, Loch Ness was reported to be drained leaving a large massive object at the far, far bottom. Another cover-up was needed to help Bush, so he bribed the British with hot tea and Grey Poupon to use their arguing skills against the sports teams of North America’s top leaders to think of something to catch American’s eyes. Because of this, Ben Rothlisberger got in the horrible motorcycle accident that we had recently been hearing about.

As the CIA inspected Loch Ness, the large object turned out to be a ton of Beat les albums that had been tossed into the lake. (They were bootlegs. The yellow submarine was purple.)

Paul McCartney somehow found out about the albums at the bottom of the lake and he cast a spell on the new music groups to make them sound awful. Now their horrible mockery of good music is polluting our minds and making us miserable.

And that is how the whole ended up how it is today.