Book Review: Castration Celebration (Jake Wizner)

by Becca L.

Where to begin on this monstrosity? I will admit, I barely glanced at the back cover synopsis. I saw the word castration and decided it must be mine. After all, what’s not to celebrate about castration (I would recommend male readers not dwell on it)? Even the cover, a mockup of the infamous High School Musical promo, tells vicious lies about the content of this book. It is not witty or clever, as the cover would suggest. It is the product of an author with half-formed ideas who, instead of developing one sufficiently, decides to cram them both into the same horrible book. The ONLY redeeming quality was the suggestion that this could possibly be a reworking of The Taming of the Shrew. I assure you, it was not. The unfinished play within the book was, but the book itself was another bit of mindless, romantic teenage drivel. I know, I have stood behind drivel in the past, but this drivel was too inane even for me. Boy meets Girl at camp. Allow me to break this drivel down for you. Girl works out Daddy issues in writing. Boy woos Girl, Girl resists. Boy wins Girl, Boy screws up. Boy magically makes everything better in the last three chapters. The end. The play follows the exact same plot, just more sex centered. I know you will all be shocked, but my friends and I have filthy minds. I can make anything sound dirty in my head and maintain a straight face until the appropriate moment. The lyrics to some of the songs in this book made me blush. I don’t dare repeat any on a library sponsored site, suffice to say that Boccaccio would be proud. When you see this book on the shelves, do not be seduced by its pretty cover or risqué title. Run as fast as you can to the opposite end of the store and thank me for saving you from this particular Celebration.