Movie Section Special: Top Ten Must-See Before College Movies

by Andrew 

You’ve seen everything in theaters. You’ve watched “The Matrix: Reloaded” so many times that you’re beginning to understand what the architect was saying. You’ve watched the entire “Lord of the Rings” trilogy in one sitting (with or without bathroom breaks). You can quote line for line “Kill Bill.” You are the king of movies. But odds are pretty good that there’s one or two (or even ten) movies on this list that you haven’t seen and need to see by the end of high school. So gather up your friends and start heating the popcorn…
 
10. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
 
Why you should see this movie: The Monty Python troupe retells the classic story of King Arthur’s quest for the Holy Grail in the most ridiculous ways possible. God, the killer rabbit, Tim, the French guards, the castle Anthrax, the Dark Knight; the list of great things in this movie could go on and on forever. The DVD collector’s edition even includes a Lego version.
 
Why only #10: Because you should have seen this movie long ago, probably before high school! It’s a bit childish, and it’s more British humor that not every one agrees with. It also has what everyone calls the worst movie ending of all time.
 
9. Dogma
 
Why you should see this movie: Two angels, who were kicked out of heaven for all eternity, have found a loophole in the Catholic dogma to get back into paradise. God’s missing, so the task of stopping the duo is left up to the “Last Zion,” the 13th disciple, and Jay and Silent Bob. Amidst all the bad comedy are some very important religious questions too.
 
 Why Only #9: This film makes fun of almost every major world religion. If you can’t laugh at yourself and your ideals, this is not your movie. It’s also a Jay and Silent Bob movie which means elementary school cheap laughs through potty-humor and stoner jokes.
 
8. The Evil Dead Trilogy (Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness)
 
Why you should see these movies: Meet Ash. All he wanted to do was have a quiet weekend with his girlfriend at a cabin in the mountains. Too bad the previous occupant was translating the Necromonicon (or the book of the dead) in his free time and left all his notes on tape right out in the open. The result is an ultra-gory trilogy with some of the best one-liners ever. The director: Sam Rami, who would later go on to direct two little movies called Spiderman and Spiderman 2.
 
Why only #8: They’re classic bad movies. One moment they’re terrifying, the next you’re laughing you head off at the horrible moon in the background, which isn’t for everyone. None of the movies flow together that well (Evil Dead has five people at the mountain cabin; Evil Dead II says there were only two). Plus, these films make Kill Bill look like Disney (1 and 2 could have gotten an NC-17 rating, but were instead “not rated” to reduce negative press).
 
7. Office Space
 
Why you should see this movie: The creators of “Beavis and Butthead” put together this comedic look at the workplace, but don’t let that discourage you. Peter Gibbons wakes up one morning and decides he doesn’t like his job, so he’s going to get fired. And if he can’t get fired, he’ll just have to make it so he never needs to work again. Think “Dilbert” with an “R” rating.
 
 Why Only #7: The TV version gets played on Comedy Central about once a month and cuts out some of the best parts while the commercials prevent an emersion into Peter’s world. The ending is just about as abrupt and pointless as Monty Python.
 
6. Se7en  
 
Why you should see this movie: Perhaps the most horrifying and underrated horror film of all time; and I really like horror films. Two police officers, the underrated Morgan Freeman and the overrated Brad Pitt, track a killer who takes lives based on the seven deadly sins: gluttony, greed, sloth, pride, lechery (lust), wrath, and envy. After watching this movie you’re never going to forget those sins.
 
 Why Only #6: This movie is truly terrifying. It isn’t a “jump out of the shadows” scary like Alien; this is “please don’t let this be what I think it is” scary like Silence of the Lambs and it doesn’t let up. That’s good for some and bad for others. Brad Pitt is only in chick-flicks is also deeply engraved in some minds.
 
5. Fight Club
 
Why you should see this movie: If guys set up the “Ya-Ya Sisterhood” what would it be about? Beating the life out of each other is a pretty good guess. Throw in a message on the dangers of post-modernism and soap in the wrong hands and you’ve got this movie. Plus there’s an ending here that puts M. Night Shyamalan’s greatest twists to shame.
 
 Why Only #5: More Brad Pitt, and considering that he’s holding a large bar of soap on the DVD cover you might get some wrong ideas (get your mind out of the gutter). The violence is rarer than you’d think, but when it occurs you get a little queasy.
 
 4. Reservoir Dogs
 
Why you should see this movie: Before Pulp Fiction there was this: Quentin Tarantino’s first film. Five strangers, each with code names, attempt to pull off the perfect crime, only one of them is an undercover cop. But which one is it? The acting is brilliant. The dialogue is great. The end result is a perfect movie.
 
 Why Only #4: Confusing ending that’s hard to piece together perfectly. Quentin Tarantino makes a guest appearance as Mr. Brown that makes you very happy he dies after the opening scene. Mr. Blonde is one sick (expletive deleted).
 
3. Big Lebowski
 
Why you should see this movie: Several mobsters break into the house of Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski, pee on his rug, then realize they have the wrong Jeffery Lebowski and leave. Things go downhill from there in a movie about bowling, money, nihilists, detectives, porn, and finding a new rug for the Dude. Its also by the guys that did Fargo and O Brother Where Art Thou? John Goodman is hilarious.
 
Why Only #3: It may be the best comedy ever made, but #2 and #1 aren’t comedy. The TV version on Comedy Central takes about ¼ of the movie (not kidding here), mainly the good parts. You’re either going to love or hate the oddball plot.
 
2. Equilibrium
 
Why you should see this movie: What the Matrix sequels should have been. Amazing fights, excellent (comprehendible) philosophy, an unemotional main character that puts Keanu Reeves to shame. Odds are you’ve seen it on the bottom shelf at Blockbuster and passed it by. Once you’ve seen it you’ll be kicking yourself for a very long time for doing so.
 
Why Only #2: Only one “cult movie” deserves higher billing, only because Equilibrium’s initial concept is so strange. Also the re-viewing rate of this movie is a little lower then the #1 movie, simply because watching the same action sequence over and over gets a little dull.
 
1. The Shawshank Redemption
 
Why you should see this movie: Called by some the best film ever made, it had the bad luck to come out in the same year as Forest Gump, Pulp Fiction, Interview with the Vampire, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. Andy Dufresne must serve back to back life-sentences in Shawshank prison for a crime he may-or-may not have committed. Based on a short story by Stephen King (which many people find unbelievable after watching) and incredibly acted by Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins, you NEED to see this movie.
 
Why #1: My roommate stated he hadn’t seen this movie and was almost lynched on the spot. When someone went and got the movie and he proceeded to IM people while the movie was playing, someone turned off the movie and everyone walked out, glaring at my roommate. This movie commands that much respect and deserves every bit of it.
 
Honorable Mention. Donnie Darko
 
Why Honorable Mention? I haven’t seen this movie yet, but have heard great praise for it on the dorm floor. I didn’t feel right putting it on the list, but didn’t feel right leaving it out entirely. It looks great and horrifying at the same time. Donnie Darko is plagued by a giant rabbit named Frank who predicts the end of the world unless Donnie stops it (apparently by doing some very bad things). One of these days I’ll need to get around to seeing it…
 
Final Note: Looking back on this list I realize that every movie here is rated “R” with the exception of Monty Python (PG) and Evil Dead (unrated). Kids under 17, check with parents. Kids over 17, steal the car and rent these movies, then check with parents if you have younger siblings. Enjoy!